


Pinky Promise

by immilk



Category: Tales of Graces
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Fluff, Gen, Heavy Trans Themes, Internet Friends, M/M, Modern Setting, Road Trips, Semi In Universe, Slow Burn, Texting, Trans Asbel, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, slight crack, trans Richard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21729664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immilk/pseuds/immilk
Summary: Asbel and Hubert go on a road trip to meet up with Richard and Sophie for a very important event.
Relationships: Asbel Lhant & Hubert Oswell, Asbel Lhant & Sophie & Richard Windor, Asbel Lhant/Richard Windor, RichAss
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Knock on Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy graces week BITEHCS i'm trans on main toNIGHT YEEH Haw BAYBEE
> 
> this work is gonna contain a lot of trans related things but i think it's enjoyable by general audiences?  
> but just like content warnings for mild transphobia and mild dysphoria at some points  
> also fair warning i haven't actually written any narrative fiction in almost four and a half years so i'm a bit rusty, but i hope i'll grow back into form over the course of writing this and then can go back and rework little bits that need some fluffing. ;^^)b

Asbel walked towards his car, an excited spring in his step. He swung his keys wildly around one finger, before his hand slipped and they flew off and smacked the side of his car, landing on the ground just beneath the door with a dull _clink_.

"Nice." Hubert snorted, dropping his bags and lifting his leg to rest his boot on the rear bumper of the red topless sedan.

Asbel screwed up his face and sighed at his brother's word, and dropped to his knees with a sigh to reach under the car to search for his keys. The pavement dug into his skin through the holes in his jeans and he groped blindly, at last finding them.

It was the first day of summer vacation, at least for Hubert; Asbel had just graduated, hence the new (used) car. Their family was fairly well off, so it was a nice model, but it wasn't the colour he had wanted (white). He had argued all day with his father, _please oh please_?, but at the end of the day, it had been a thousand dollar difference between this and the car he had really wanted. Second place wasn't too bad. He knew he was being spoiled, but he still felt a tinge of huffiness whenever he looked at it.

He had paid for his own surgery by working non-stop the last two summers, but yeah, a thousand was just Too Much for his parents who could afford a fancy downtown villa with pool and still had enough free time to be involved in local politics. His dad had served as the state governor for about the past ten years, and his mom helped run all of his campaigns. He knew he was spoiled but he would drop all of the privilege of money and power in a heartbeat for parents who actually gave a shit.

But that didn't matter now; for the summer, he was _free_. And he was taking Hubert with him.

He pulled his arm back, keys in hand, feeling the still fresh scars on his chest stretch back into place as he grabbed them and stabilized himself with a hand against the car door to stand up, reminded of what he was setting out to do.

"Be careful. Are you sure you're ready to be up and about like this?" Hubert said, tilting his head as he watched his elder brother rub at his chest while he unlocked the doors and popped the trunk.

"Ready as I need to be." Asbel huffed, walking back to their bags that were waiting at the doorstep and hauling one over in each of his skinny arms, walking with determination, strained as his back may be. Hubert sighed and began to help load the suitcases, duffel bags, and their backpacks into the trunk. "Just don't overdo it."

"When have I ever overdone it?" Asbel shot him a pouty look.

"Trying to prove yourself in any and every little thing?" Hubert raised an eyebrow, smirking back at him.

A rush of memories, all painful in one way or another washed over Asbel, and he flushed in embarrassment. Hubert had grown up with him, close to his side since the day he was born. There were few follies of his that his brother hadn't witnessed. "Well..." He mumbled, slamming the trunk shut and walking to the driver's side to get in, unable to really fire back on that one.

"Are you sure you have everything? Mother is going to let me hear it if you don't, and I won't let you get away with it if you leave that entire tongue lashing to me."

"It's your fault for being so responsible~" Asbel teased and Hubert huffed, scrolling down the notes in his phone. "Besides, isn't half the point of this trip to get away from her? And dad? And this whole entire stupid family?"

"And Cheria?" Hubert smirked.

"Hey..." Asbel said lowly with a frown, sulking a bit at the low blow.

"You're not even going to tell her you're leaving?"

"It's on a need to know basis. Come on."

"You're so cruel to that poor girl." Hubert said, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, as he found the note he was looking for.

"Toothbrush?"

"Packed."

"Clothes?"

"What do you think were in those duffel bags?"

"Electronic devices?"

"In the backpacks..." Asbel sighed, beginning to get irritated with Hubert's responsibility schtick. He turned around to check behind him to make sure he wasn't about to run into the garage door (again) before turning back and sticking the key in the ignition and adjusting his mirrors, as well as flicking the headlights on. It was still pretty early in the morning, and the sun was minutes from beginning to rise, but if they left at anything but this hour, their mother was sure to be there, overbearing and crying, and their father silent and judging. They knew the two were going on a trip, but the spectacle of it all would've been too much for either of them.

"Pills?" 

"Ugh..." Asbel winced as he heard that, remembering he had left them on the kitchen island. He grumbled as he turned the engine off, his loaded keychain jangling as he opened his door and power-walked back to the house, scrambling to unlock the door before morning alarms started going off. 

As he entered the house, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He bit back a smile as he picked it up and read the message. 

_"You up? ^.^ Or are you on the road already? o_o"_

Asbel smiled softly, reading the text from Richard. The few times he had met him in real life, he was a charming, fairly suave and mature guy, but he had such a cutesy way of texting, while still managing to maintain a bit of formality... it really melted his heart.

_"yea i'm getting ready to leave i just forgot something in the house lol"_

He stood there, leaning against the kitchen counter for a minute, watching the typing bubble.

_"LOL be careful Asbel! :D I'm excited too, but don't forget to pace yourself! ^.^"_

Somehow, the message was a lot more digestible coming from Richard than from Hubert.

_"yeah i kno lol"_

_"is sophie still asleep?"_

_"Probably? I think she wakes up at exactly 7 every morning like clockwork. :P"_

_"truuuu LOL"  
_ _"hey good luck today, i'll be thinking of you"_

He hesitates to send the second message, but toughs it out and sends it, a strange feeling creeping up his spine. He closes the door behind him as he walks back to the car, his legs feeling a bit unsteady. He climbs into the driver's seat as his phone vibrates another time.

_"Haha, I'm super nervous, but thank you! <3 And you too! Don't fall asleep while driving or anything LOL!" _

A few seconds later, a dancing Katz gif.

Asbel sighed deeply, smiling as he watched the gif. He bit his lip, typed a few words, and then turned to his brother.

"Hey, is " _I love you_ " a bit too much?"

"Where are your pills."

_"God damn it!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have about 7.3k of this written in one sitting because i'm going absolutely FERAL but i really love graces and richass just sings to my heart and makes me feel at home.  
>  thanks 2 my pal Katt on twitter for giving it a beta which i INSANELY appreciate!!!!!
> 
> hope u like r&r (do people still say that god i'm old) but in anycase i hope you have a great graces week and find something that suits your fancy even if this didn't!
> 
> also i litearlly feed off of kudos like a rabid dog give me my internet validation tokens PLZZZZ :3cccc


	2. Say The Wrong Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warnings from the first chapter still apply ^^)b

The two had been on the road for a few hours now, and the morning sun was well on its way into the sky when they finally agreed that they needed breakfast. Asbel tapped a fast food joint into the map on his phone, and the soothing female voice began to direct them to the nearest one.

"I don't understand why we couldn't have packed breakfast, Asbel."

"Well, I wanted a fast food breakfast."

"We would be saving money if we had packed one. We could have packed anything we wanted. Even buying snacks would be cheaper."

"Ugh..." He'd already heard it from Hubert the night before, as well as his mother, but with preparing for the trip he had been too tired to bother. Besides, a road trip was the perfect time to pig out and eat all the garbage you wanted!

Hubert huffed and pushed up his glasses, leaning back in his seat. "Well, you know what I like."

"I do." Asbel replied, smiling, a bit full of brotherly pride.

They pulled into the drive thru and the speaker crackled to life as the cashier asked if they could take their order.

"UHHHH YEAH," Asbel started, raising his voice and leaning over the door as close to the device as possible to make sure he got through the degrading microphone. The whole establishment looked like it had been in a state of mild degradation for years, but they were rolling through a very small town just off the highway, so for all he knew this was a stand up establishment in this town.

"CAN I GET A LARGE VANILLA MILKSHAKE, TWO HASHBROWNS, SIX KETCHUP PACKETS, A LARGE COKE-- what did you want? Wait I remember, A KIDS MEAL WITH CHOCOLATE MILK, A FRY UPGRADE, WELL DONE PLEASE-- oh shit, they have Sunscreen Rangers toys-- AND A BOYS TOY? PLEASE?"

The items appeared one by one on the ancient LED screen. After a moment of silence, the speaker crackled to life.

"WOULD YOU LIKE APPLE SLICES OR BABY CARROTS WITH YOUR KIDS MEAL?"

Asbel turned back to Hubert, a look of expectation on his face.

"Apple... slices..." Hubert managed to spit out, rubbing his temples, the whole ordeal of the drive thru and his brother shouting as loudly and embarrassingly as possible beginning to grate on him.

"Got it. APPLE SLICES PLEASE!" He shouted back into the speaker.

"AWESOME," the speaker said with a false enthusiasm, "IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET YOU WITH YOUR ORDER TODAY?"

"Did you want anything else Hubert?" Asbel asked, turning around a second time.

" _No_."

"NO I THINK WE'RE GOOD OH WAIT, ACTUALLY COULD I GET A SECOND TOY? I CAN PAY FOR IT?" Hubert made an exaggerated look of confusion and raised his hands and shoulders in a baffled shrug at his brother's back.

"OF COURSE. IS THAT ALL TODAY?"

"I THINK THAT'S IT, THANK YOU!"

"1037 AT THE SECOND WINDOW PLEASE."

"GREAT, THANKS!." Asbel pulled his body back into the car and shoved his hand in his jeans pocket, fishing for his wallet. Unfolding it and pulling out his card, he held it between his pursed lips as he pulled up. Hubert planted his head firmly in his hands, his glasses pushed askew from this gesture as he heaved a dramatic sigh.

"Here you go!" The employee said, handing over their bag of food. Asbel thanked her as he took the bag and handed it off to Hubert before he turned back and handed the cashier his card. She looked it over and he could swear she had raised an eyebrow at him before running it, and Asbel felt a flush of heat rush over him as he remembered the image printed on it. It was an old picture from over a year ago, the last time he had gotten to visit Richard, with the three of them- him, Richard, and Sophie- huddled together, their arms slung around each other's shoulders. He looked down at his chest, embarrassed. What a stupid thing to pick for a picture on your card when you're basically trying to change your identity and leave the past behind.

"Asbel."

"Huh??" He snapped back to reality when Hubert called his name a second time. Hubert gestured to the cashier trying to hand him back his card.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Thanks." He took it, feeling like his body was on fire, and quickly buried the card back in his wallet, hiding that even deeper in his jeans.

Asbel quickly pulled out of the drive thru and into an empty parking space in the mostly deserted parking lot.

The two brothers ate in silence for a few minutes, digging in to their breakfast. As Hubert ate, a troubled look came over his face.

Asbel quickly scarfed down his two hash browns, periodically fruitlessly sucking on the straw of his milkshake before finally leaving it to melt a bit, ending his breakfast by licking the grease off his fingers. He dug his hand into the paper bag emblazoned with the establishment's logo and searched for one of the Sunscreen Rangers toys as he eyed Hubert's troubled expression worriedly. Sealed toy bag in hand, Asbel pulled apart the plastic and took out the toy. He flexed his hand around the crux between its "arms" and "legs" causing the orange star's "antennae" to make a pinching motion, squeezing it against the bare flesh of his brother's arm with a cattish smile. 

"Ranger Orange seems to have detected a threat on the beach! He needs your help to protect it!"

"First of all, Ranger Orange is a girl." Hubert started indignantly, but he had more serious matters on his mind. "And second of all..." Hubert paused to glare at Asbel, "What the hell was that back there?" He finished, a severe look on his face.

"Huh? What, the- uh, sorry." Asbel stumbled, trying to make up an excuse, "Sorry, I almost forgot your order for a second. I was looking at the menu and got overwhelmed?"

"Don't lie to me Asbel." Hubert sniffed and pushed up his glasses, nibbling on his last apple slice, beginning to pull on the plastic bag that encapsulated his toy. 

Asbel shrugged and lifted his hands in a meaningless gesture, feeling his face burn with humiliation.

"You looked completely out of it when she was trying to hand you back your card, like you were practically in shock!"

Asbel closed his eyes and furrowed his brow in frustration. "Do we have to talk about this right now?"

"I suppose not." The sun was getting pretty high in the sky now and beating down on them, and the boys began to sweat without the breeze of driving or AC to cool them.

Asbel hung his head, letting his thoughts wander back to where they were. That picture was so precious to him. He had only gotten to meet Richard in person a few times, but the two had bonded over the internet and become very close very quickly, bonding over their similar lives. 

To start, Richard came from a family that had a long history in the area, leading all the way back to its founding, to the point where he shared his last name with the city; Windor. In addition, his father had been a very famous actor in his prime, and had had no problem buying a large mansion tucked away in the hills that overlooked the port city. Richard, however, was missing his mother, as she had died when he was young, and though caring, his father was in failing health.

As for Sophie, she was a childhood friend of Richard's that Asbel hadn't known too well until he met her in person the first time he had gone to visit when the three were about thirteen. They had hit it off immediately though, and he dearly enjoyed her strange way of looking at the world. She would say such odd things, even Richard had told him in confidence that when he had met her as a child he had been almost sure she was an alien!

Of course that wasn't true at all, rather, Sophie was just a unique girl with a big heart, and others were of course sure to pick up on her eccentricities and tease her, and try to take advantage of her caring nature. Thankfully, Richard had been there to protect her, what with his more worldly viewpoint.

Richard of course wasn't an exception to the pains of youth, despite his heritage of import. The secrets he and Asbel had shared over the span of their friendship so far had been many. When Asbel had first realized himself, Richard had been the first person he came out to, which he now realized probably had a greater effect on the boy than he could've known. Being a celebrity's child made him a target of all the playground bullies and of people trying to climb the social ladder, even adults seemed to have nothing but an artificial respect for his friend. He remembered how Richard had thanked him for coming out, and commented on how brave he was, somewhat leading to the conversation where Richard himself admitted to not being totally straight. "I'm not sure what I am, but I know I'm not straight." But he didn't need another target painted on his back, so they all kept that between the three of them.

Asbel sighed with longing and took out his phone, realizing he hadn't checked it in a while, and that he had several unread messages. One from his mother telling him she missed him already, one from Cheria which he scrolled past, assuring himself he'd look at it later, but most importantly the group chat with Richard and Sophie had a new message. The new message icon pulled him out of his depressed stupor and he tapped on it.

_"Good morning! :)"_

A text from Sophie!

 _"Good morning Sophie! ^.^"  
_ _"Did you sleep well?"_ Richard had replied about a half an hour ago.

_"I did. And Asbel? :)"_

_"He's on the road already, he might be busy for a while. ^.^;"_

_"morning you two! well almost midday now lol"_

_"how's it going, sophie?"_

There was hardly a pause before the bubble popped up indicating Sophie was typing.

_"Good. I'm helping Richard get ready :)"_

_"that's great sophie, thanks for helping him for me :3"_

_"richard, how are yo uholding up?"_

_"He says he's really nervous :("_

_"well tell him not to worry, we'll hopefully be there by the time he wakes up :)"_

_":)"_

Asbel gave a breathy smile at Sophie's emoticon. What a way with words she had.

_"we've stopped for breakfast but we'll be on our way again soon. i can't text while driving so if you have anything important just let hubert kno ok?"_

_"ok! :)"_

_"be there soon u two :3 <3" _

Asbel breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to Hubert, who was deep in his inspection of Sunscreen Ranger Red and the mechanisms within the toy.

"Ready to get moving?" he said, feeling a bit better now that he had heard from Sophie and knew she was with Richard. He knew firsthand how nerve-wracking this time could be.

"Mm." Hubert grunted, too far gone into the Sunscreen Rangers episode he was surely playing out in his mind.

Asbel smiled and turned the car back on, checking over his shoulder as he pulled out of the space and got them back on the highway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know hubert is technically a bigger dweeb but i think asbel himself has some pretty dweeby moments.... i love when they get along tho im Cry....


	3. can't seperate from everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for very very very mild blood/"injuries" this chapter
> 
> hi! i meant this to come out quite a bit sooner but my beta was busy and also i'm lazy so ehehe...  
> anyway i've been thinking about the world this fic takes place in a lot.... it's similar to the one in canon graces but also similar to ours, and i've been thinking about how they use gald but also cell phones and how katz exist (but i'll get to that) but also the monsters still exist and how i could incorporate them.... and how the events of graces not happening exactly would affect how the characters behave.  
> also if you read this far wow thank you! i know this is a super indulgent fic, and i know it's not the best, but i hope it's at least fun and mostly in character and can mean something to someone. ;;<3

The two brothers were ripping down the highway now, radio blasting and the wind whipping their hair as Asbel drove, flipping through stations every few songs, trying to find something he liked. He bit his lip and frowned, leaning forward a bit to push the seek button over and over while keeping his eyes on the road, looking back over his shoulder every few seconds. 

Hubert had taken off his boots and had his feet resting on the dash, his seat cranked all the way back as he scrolled through some website on his phone. 

"Hey, Hubert? Could you grab the CD bin and read off what we have for me?" Asbel asked.

After a few more taps on his phone Hubert sat up and leaned over to grab the basket of CDs beneath the console's cupholder. With a sigh he skimmed through them, reading off the title of each. It was mostly old CDs that Asbel had pilfered off their father as a child, a rather large collection of ska and college rock. Certainly not to Hubert's taste, but Asbel seemed to quite enjoy most of it.

"Do we really have to listen to this... selection?"

"C'mon Hubert, everything on the radio sucks and half of it's commercials."

"Well why can't we listen to my music? I have the auxiliary cord right here." He suggested, gritting his teeth a bit as he dangled the cord toward him. He could already imagine Asbel listening to the same CD over and over for the next three hours.

Asbel looked over, a skeptical expression on his face. "Hubert, come on, you know I hate that stuff..."

"What's wrong with jazz? And classical?"

"And classical jazz?" Asbel sighed, rolling his eyes back to the road.

"Yes. They're refined and calming! Good for helping you concentrate and stay focused on the road."

"Yeah, but uh, that stuff puts me to sleep." Asbel snorted, "What's wrong with something with a pulse?"

"With a pulse?! Are you quite serious?! I'll have you know, the graceful conductings of Rowen J. Ilbert are much more intricate and energizing than whatever passe mid 90s schtick you and father seem to enjoy!" Hubert spat, voice raising an octave as he passionately lambasted Asbel's tastes.

Asbel scoffed loudly, shooting an expression of amused disbelief at Hubert. He straightened his posture and layed out a hand, wriggling his fingers.

"Just give me a CD. Any CD. I don't care which one."

Hubert grumbled as he passed the top of the pile over to his brother, wishing the wind would whip the disc away and down the highway, leaving them far behind as they sped forward.

Asbel pushed the CD into the slot and as the drive made a quiet whirring noise, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to hit  _ random  _ and  _ repeat _ . Hubert shuddered silently as his brother's finger hit the repeat button.

**_"IT'S BEEN-!"_ ** the CD started blasting, far louder than either of the boys had been expecting, causing the startled Asbel to swerve as his arms jerked in surprise. The driver behind them slammed on their breaks and pounded on the horn several times.

" _ FUCK _ !" Hubert shouted as he almost went flying and Asbel desperately twisted the volume dial down.

"Sorry, Hubert!" Asbel said, jaw locked into a grimace and his hands still shaking a bit.

"You almost  _ killed  _ us, Asbel." Hubert hissed and pushed his glasses back into place, pulling at the locked up seat belt to stop it from choking him. He leaned over to pick his phone up off the floor, requiring another adjustment of his glasses as he sat back up. "What the fuck. Why was that so loud?"

"I-I dunno!" Asbel stammered, "Probably something about the. Sound waves. With the, uh. Compression of the... Sound quality of. When CDs are made, I dunno!" his voice hit a desperate hitch as he waved a free hand in the air, his other hand gripped around the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"We should've listened to jazz..." Hubert wheezed as he settled into his seat, pulling it back up so he had a better view of the road.

Asbel rolled his eyes, the stress slowly leaving his body. "If this stuff pisses you off so much, how about this: we can listen to whatever you want that ISN'T jazz or classical after this CD is over."

"Classical jazz?"

Asbel shot him a look that clearly communicated  _ you little shit _ loud and clear.

"Fine." Hubert scrolled through his phone, scanning his list of artists, "How about..." There was a pause as he scrolled, "Sunscreen Rangers OST?"

Asbel tilted his head to the side, considering.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I'll take that."

"Glad we could come to a compromise, brother." Hubert said smugly, though he was really happy to have something to share with his Asbel. He put his feet back up on the dash.

The two sat in silence, Hubert with his headphones in but not playing any music as they continued down the highway for a while. The sun reached such an angle that it was beating down on the right side of Asbel's face, catching his earring in its light.

Hubert eyed it in silence, wondering if the question he had was entirely appropriate.

When Asbel had been a child, their mother had brought him to have his ears pierced at the mall. It had been a minor ordeal, Asbel crying as the gun pierced his ears, and little Hubert crying when he saw Asbel crying. It was one of his earliest memories.

Asbel had always been a bit...  _ butch  _ as child, and their mother had been desperately fretting for some way to make her tomboy a bit more feminine. At first Asbel had vehemently refused to get his ears pierced, but when his mother pointed out how tough it would make him if he did it, he quickly jumped on board. He had never seemed to enjoy wearing earrings, and eventually stopped in his early teens, but a while after he had come out he had taken to wearing some small gold studs. Hubert recalled watching him force the earrings back through his closed holes and wincing, seeing the small stains of blood on his fingertips after he had succeeded. He was baffled as to how his brother could smile and even admire himself in the mirror after such a thing. Even now he shuddered just thinking about it. Ripping those healed wounds open again like that, with brute force, for what, an aesthetic choice? And after all he was doing, trying to come off as more masculine?

"Hey Asbel..."

"Hm?" Asbel turned down the music a bit, keeping his eyes firmly on the road, though the happy-go-lucky saxophone assault continued even when dulled.

"Your earrings..."

Asbel's eyes opened a bit in surprise, and he turned towards Hubert. 

"My earrings?"

"Yeah..."

"What about them?" Asbel asked, focusing back on the road.

"Why do you wear them... even though you're... you know. A boy now."

Asbel tilted his head to the side, thinking.

"Cuz they look cool, I guess?"

"That's it?!" Hubert sputtered, a bit in disbelief.

"I think? I dunno." There was a moment of silence, Asbel putting some thought into the question before he started again. "I didn't like them as a kid, right? But when mom and dad said they didn't want me getting surgery when I came out, it felt a bit like taking my body into my own hands. They're not 'for girls', they're... for me."

Hubert sat, thinking.

"I suppose that does make sense."

"Yeah."

"Why? Jealous?" Asbel teased, flashing a grin towards Hubert.

"Please, not in the slightest." Hubert said with a scowl, and he turned away to watch the scenery fly by. He felt his gaze drawn to his own earlobes in the mirror.

The two drove on in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry mom and dad are so shitty to you."

"Hubert?"

"About your whole. Trans thing." Hubert said, gesturing vaguely, his mouth going dry as he said it out loud for the first time.

"Aw, Hubert... It's not your fault, please don't apologize..."

"I still feel bad. Watching them say things that make you miserable. Even when it's on accident. Let alone when it's on purpose! Dangling their respect for you just out of your reach."

Asbel was taken aback, and he felt his hands grip tighter on the steering wheel as his eyes clouded a bit, beginning to sting.

"Yeah. And thanks to you, for not being shitty about it to me, too."

"It's really not that big of a deal." Hubert huffed, "Switching pronouns, calling you a boy... anyone with half a brain could do it!" he said, a smug air about the statement.

Asbel smiled weakly. "Hopefully actually  _ seeing  _ me as a boy too."

The wind in Hubert's sails puttered out a bit as he scrambled to respond, "W-well yes, of course! That too."

Asbel sighed, "While we're on the topic..."

Hubert made a slightly distressed face.

"Earlier, at breakfast..."

_ "Oh! Thank god..."  _ Hubert thought.

"I think the woman saw my picture on the card and clocked me as trans?"

Hubert made a confused noise as he cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

"Well... The picture on it has me in it, pre-surgery, so..."

"Oh, Asbel... please. I'm sure at worst she just thought it was your sister or something. Why would she be looking at your chest anyway? And you never really had the biggest... well... you know, in the first place. I doubt she even noticed." Hubert said confidently. This somehow did little to assuage Asbel's distress.

"I guess..."

"Asbel, you're thinking too much about it. Don't worry. You're never going to see her again anyways, it doesn't matter."

Asbel sighed.

And then there was the similar matter of Richard on the card, at least, similar in his eyes. He hadn't even thought to ask before he had put the image on his card. It had been his phone home screen for so long, it just felt natural. But now there was Richard on the card, just as pre-transition as him. And Richard, despite the many luxuries that he did have, did not share Asbel's luxury of a naturally small chest.

Anyone who saw that picture after his upcoming surgery would know exactly what had happened, especially now that Richard had started hormones and there would be other shifts going on. Asbel thought of all the baby pictures his mother had plastered all over the internet, and more and more as he grew, that he wished could be wiped from the face of the earth. But despite many desperate, sometimes even tearful pleas, she steadfastly refused to delete them, or even just not post them, and there was nothing he could do. He thought of how Richard would feel going through the same thing.

Richard's family was thankfully for him rather private, as his father had spent his younger days in celebrity and knew the value of privacy. However, being the child of such a famous man, complete anonymity wasn't possible if Richard wanted to live in any way in the public sphere, meaning actual schooling, rather than an in-home tutor.

Asbel held back a giggle, remembering the time he had first told his parents about his friend Richard, son of the famous actor. His mother was sure he was being catfished, whereas his dad thought  _ he  _ was the one just making shit up. His mother had instructed him to cut off all contact with Richard, but he of course had gone behind her back. Eventually he had been able to wrangle Richard onto an already rare video call, but this time with his father, and he was able to show his parents that Richard really was who he said he was. After that, it became much easier to convince his parents to let him go and visit his dear friend. They had paid for his plane tickets the first summer, back when they were fourteen, and Asbel could still remember how it felt when Richard come charging at him in the airport, almost knocking him over with a hug. 

His entire body had felt light as a feather, and he couldn't see straight, vision half clouding as he had let Richard sweep his arms around him tightly, barely able to weakly loop his own around his friend's waist without dropping to the ground with how shaky his knees were. He remembered Richard's head settling in the crook of his neck with the tiniest nuzzle, and their chests pressed tightly together so tightly Asbel was sure Richard could feel his heart about to beat out of his chest as Richard held back a quiet sob, so happy to finally meet him in person. He remembered his soft, blonde hair brushing against his face, tickling his nose, but not wanting to do anything about it, as he breathed in the calming scent of his best friend in the entire world. He had never felt more wanted and loved than in that moment.

Asbel took in a breath and gripped the steering wheel, trying to regain his focus on the road as his entire body was wracked with that strange, light feeling, just from remembering that moment.

Asbel let out a soft, subdued half-scream as he shook his head, blushing and trying to shake off the memory.

"The blazes?" Hubert asked, raising an eyebrow with an awkward smile, leaning away from him on the door.

"Sorry. Thinking about Richard." He said, unable to contain his growing smile.

"Ah. Of course. Who else would it be?" Hubert said. He smiled to himself and turned away, resting his chin on his hand as he continued to watch the landscape roll by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to pick what asbel's taste in music would be and my friend thinks that ska is really funny and i do too, so it was a toss up between that and kpop because boa sings the graces op and no way in hell was i gonna make my man asbel a koreaboo, funny as that would be. he seems like he would be one of those people who listens to "everything but country and rap" aka the top 40 station like 10 years ago lol  
> going deeper into this decision, i thought since hubert likes an analogue of power rangers, asbel would like another kids show of that era and digimon stuck out, also having a tie to bandai namco, and half the soundtrack of the digimon movie is 3rd wave ska, so LMAO. this may be bordering on a crack fic, but i put thought into my crack god damn it hgkjdfhgkjdhkfhg


	4. a strength most don't possess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for a single mild allusion to self harm  
> also title drop and the chapter where you realize this is a very stupid premise for a fic  
> also i'm sorry this took so long to get out i've been sitting on it for a while but i needed someone to beta it because i can't read (or write but that's okay this is a self indulgent vent fantasy so AGGRESSIVE SHRUG) and all my pals were busy bees!! :o

"You've got a message from Sophie, Asbel." Said Hubert, looking over at his brother from his phone.

"Could you read it to me?" Asbel responded.

"Yeah. 'Tell Asbel to check his texts :)'." He punctuated with her smiley face aloud.

"God... damnit." Asbel sighed, "Can you tell her I'm driving right now?"

Hubert spent a moment tapping at his phone, before a pause.

Asbel darted a glance over to his brother, eyebrows raised.

"She says 'can you have the phone read them to you?'."

"What? I didn't even know you could do that! How do you do that? Can you even do that? Is that allowed?"

"I wouldn't know, neither of us has ever been much of a tech genius, now, have we?" Hubert huffed.

"You could send Pascal a text?" Asbel suggested, sending his brother a cat-like smile.

"And why would I do that?" Hubert snapped.

"Well she's good with all that tech stuff and... you know." Asbel wiggled his eyebrows, a big grin spread over his cheeks as he leered at Hubert.

"Yes, well then, why don't _you_ ask _your_ boyfriend Richard?"

"H-he's not my boyfriend..." Asbel mumbled, feeling his face turn red. He turned back to the road, lips pulled back into a slight pout.

"He's not, _not_ your boyfriend though." Hubert pressed with a little smirk. How the tables had turned…

"I mean... yeah... I guess. If that's how you want to put it."

What exactly the relationship the two had was ambiguously defined at best. They had been best friends almost since they had met, but not being able to see each other in person made defining things a bit difficult. Asbel was well aware of his own feelings for Richard, but if he was honest, he couldn't read Richard at all. The older boy was rather affectionate with his friends. They all told each other they loved each other in the group chat quite often, but in private, those words had only been exchanged a couple times, and never with a concrete romantic context. But the way he would sometimes catch Richard looking intently at him from the corner of the eye, and how he would sometimes nuzzle into his shoulder when he was tired, or the way he dedicated himself to staying up late enough to make sure he was the last one to say goodnight sure made Asbel feel a certain kind of way.

Of course, Asbel was also sneaking glances at his blonde friend, and his stomach did flips every time the other posted a selfie. He even hand picked cute memes to send to Richard when he was _really_ feelin' it. And when they were together, he was more than happy to lean into his gentle touches, and once had even taken a great leap and pressed his pinky against Richard's. It had led to what was for _him_ some VERY intense pinky-holding, though his head was craned so far in the opposite direction to avoid Richard seeing his blush that he had no real way of knowing if the other had even noticed. Though he could've sworn he had heard a quiet giggle with a tinge of Richard's signature coyness.

And then there was the time they had gone swimming in the pond in the woods behind Richard's house at the end of the summer-- tops off. They were just two guys, after all, no need for formalities. Though both had admitted to each other it was weird at first, but they shortly laughed it off. When they were finished swimming they had sat on the embankment in the shade on the blanket Richard had laid out before they had jumped in. Richard had gently toweled Asbel's hair dry as they sat quietly and Richard had looked shyly away and asked Asbel something he had never been expecting to hear.

_"Are you gonna get top?"_

_"Huh?"_

_Richard had gestured at Asbel's breasts._

_"Oh, uh... I dunno. My parents don't really want me to, so it's not like there's anything I could do at this point."_

_Richard had looked so pained at this statement, his usually sharp grey gaze dimming to a sad stare at the ground underneath the shared shadow of their towel._

_"What about you Richard?"_

_"I do want to. But..."_

_Asbel had tilted his head and leaned forward, intent on hearing what his friend had to say._

_"I can't. Not without you."_

_Asbel had startled a bit at that._

_"Without... me?"_

_"Yeah. I'm not gonna do it until you can as well."_

_"Huh?! Richard, that's totally nuts!"_

_He had pouted and argued back and forth, but at the end of it, Richard still held his stance._

_"Richard, my parents are never gonna let me do it, and I can't afford it myself anyway. You'll be waiting forever, this is nonsense!" he groaned._

_"I don't care. And I'll pay for you." He'd said, shaking his head._

_"Richard, I literally can't let you do that. I'd feel awful taking your money. My parents are already well off, I don't actually need it, they're just assholes! Give it to someone who does need it. I'll get a job or something. But you have parents willing to sign those papers. Are you seriously telling me the reason you haven't done it yet is because of me??" Asbel had said angrily, shaking and upset that Richard was stalling his own transition for something as stupid as Asbel's. He placed his hands firmly on Richard's shoulders and gripped them tightly, looking him in the eye._

_"Richard, we can't do this. If you want top you need to get it now. You have the choice, you have the money, do you know how many people would KILL to be in your situation?"_

_But he still refused, shaking his head._

_"It wouldn't feel right going without you."_

_"Richard..."_

_"Asbel, please..."_

_He had dropped the towel, letting it fall down Asbel's back and taken his hands so gently in his. He removed them from his shoulders to hold them delicately, and looked him directly in the eyes. He had looked so concerned and vulnerable, Asbel couldn't hold his gaze. He had blushed and looked away, feeling guilty for some reason._

_Asbel slid his hands through Richard's, delicately gripping on to him so that they were each holding the other's wrists. He felt his fingers brush against Richard's scars and felt another surge of guilt and frustration._

_"This isn't some kind of self-harm thing, is it?" He frowned and lead his eyes back to Richard's, as he squeezed gently, wanting him to feel him there by his side, to know that he was there, that he understood._

_Richard shook his head._

_"If I leave you behind, I could never forgive myself. If I did it when you don't even have the opportunity, I would feel awful. I can't. I can wait. Please, Asbel. Trust me."_

_Asbel was reeling, trying to wrap his mind around what Richard was saying._

_"So... what you're saying is... you want to wait until I transition, and then do it together?"_

_Richard finally smiled, nodding enthusiastically, and his eyes had regained their foxish glint. The voice in the back of his head was telling him over and over that this was a stupid idea, but Asbel really couldn't say no to him._

_"Alright, we'll do it your way." He had said with an exasperated but affectionate sigh. Richard leaned in to re-fluff the towel and used it to pull him closer as he giggled and rested against Asbel, his chin on his shoulder, once again sending that lightweight feeling all throughout his body._

_"I promise you Richard," He had pulled back, away from his paradise to speak to him, looking him in the eyes once again. "Next summer I'm getting a job as soon as it starts, and I'm going to get top the second I turn eighteen and can sign those stupid papers myself. And then I'll come and see you, and you can get top too, and everything will be better. I promise."_

_Richard had smirked, enamoured with his suddenly rowdy determination. He had held out his pinky finger, eyebrow raised._

_"Pinky promise?"_

_"What, like how Sophie does? Alright." Asbel cracked a smile and tilted his head to the side, offering his own pinky back. Richard nodded, squeezing tightly as he locked their pinkies together._

_Richard had smiled softly and leaned in, bumping his forehead against Asbel's, who felt a calm warmness glow through his body. An affectionate smile came over him as quickly as the goosebumps that came when a cold breeze drafted by. He shook his head, ridding his mind of his fantasies of getting even closer to Richard, and shivered a bit._

_"Cold?" Richard had asked, their noses brushing against each other for a brief moment as he moved to press his cheek against Asbel's, and he could feel him smiling as he had wrapped the towel around him and over his head again. "We should get dressed." He had said, standing up only to lean down and offer Asbel his hand to help him stand._

_Promises were idealistic, as Asbel tended to be, but reality could be harsh._

_The next summer Asbel, more than true to his word, had been applying for jobs as the school year wound to a close. All through the summer he had worked hard, sometimes balancing two jobs, along with learning how to drive. In the end, despite all his hard work, running himself borderline ragged at times, he still came up dramatically short. He had apologized to Richard almost nightly but Richard was unwavering, soothing Asbel with his kind words. "I can wait. It's alright. You're not a failure. You're not a burden. I chose this for myself. It only hurts so see you so sad, so please, don't worry yourself."_

_Asbel was at least able to convince Richard to start hormones, and he certainly enjoyed getting his selfies every day, watching his best friend change slowly over the months. He was only half recognizable the next summer, when they spent their painfully brief two weeks holed up in Richard's room playing video games non-stop with Sophie. She was a prolific backseat gamer, despite having almost no interest in actually playing any game that wasn't a fighting game with a large roster._

_Then the next summer had come, and Richard had turned eighteen. He took a gap year, mulling around the idea of college in his head, while another job frenzied season took hold of Asbel. Sophie had frequently commented on how much she missed Asbel, but the two assured her things would be back to normal soon. Things would be back to normal, and better for all of them. At the end of it the school year started, and when it was finally winding to a close, Asbel had also hit his long awaited eighteenth birthday. It was during the school year still, but he couldn't wait a day more. He had already found and scheduled a surgeon, and he spent the day in the hospital, under the knife._

_He had returned to a cold welcome from everyone except Hubert, and his new tutor Pascal. She had been helping him beef up his grades before the end of senior year and helped him catch up with the work he would miss in the weeks he had taken off from school to recover._

_Pascal was very kind to him, and had said something to the effect of having a "deep understanding" of his woes, though he remained a bit mystified as to what exactly she had meant by that. He had seen what he thought was some type of pride flag badge on her bag, but he wasn't quite sure what it was, and didn't feel like he was on a level of friendship where he felt comfortable asking yet._

_His friend Cheria had, of course, mostly sided with his parents. He could hear her voice in his head, "Un-be-LIEVABLE! How could you do that to your parents? You know the only reason they wouldn't let you do all that..._ **_stuff_ ** _, is because they're worried about you!"_

_"Stuff" was always how she phrased it._

_This continued in other facets, "I liked you just fine as a girl, you know! It was nice having a girl-friend I could gal-pal around with!"._

_She was a very dear childhood friend, and he knew she meant well, and of course he still loved her, but it was getting tiring. He knew she was probably just worried and dealing with the baggage of her unrequited crush on him (boy had that been an awkward conversation, coupled with him coming out to her; a much too delighted "I knew it! I just knew it!" followed by a "Y-you know, if we're sharing secrets..."), but ever since he had gotten the surgery it had started to become unbearable. He just didn't know how to talk to her, so he had been trying to avoid her. Though it had only been about two and a half months by the time Richard had come to him with his good news, that he had been able to successfully schedule his own surgery, that was plenty of time for the summer exodus from his hometown to add an extra layer of relief to the situation for him._

"Tell her that I'll look at them and text her back when we pull over to get gas and late lunch in about half an hour. If it's an emergency she can call me."

Hubert nodded and went off, tapping at his phone. 

"She said okay, and hopes that the drive is going well." Hubert echoed the essence of her message back to him.

"Thanks." Asbel shifted in his seat, and leaned forward a bit, feeling his back beginning to ache. The distance to the hospital Richard was going to was quite a ways, and it was about an hour away from Richard's home, but they could make it by nine o'clock if they booked it and drove all day. Richard was arriving at the hospital at six, and surgery started at seven, and Asbel was determined to be there for him when he woke up. It was the least he could do after making him wait so long.

When they finally pulled off the highway to a rest stop, he glanced at the clock. Three o' clock already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have read this far like........ godspeed my dude


End file.
